Girly Biscuits
by pitupaso
Summary: They've got magic sprinkles. And they make you happy. And, obviously, Bloo isn't going to buy this. [Gen, no pairings. OneShot.]


**AN:** _lol I can't believe I'm actually writing FHFIF fanfiction xx;; But this idea was stuck in my head and wouldn't go away._

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"What's _that_?"

"Oh, hola, Azul!" Eduardo promptly shoved a cylinder full of elongated brown biscuits at said blue friend. The cylinder's packaging illustrated an overly-cute baby cartoon panda gnawing happily on them. "You like some chocolate sticks?"

"No, yuck, ew, chocolate sticks are for girls and little babies."

"But... they got magic sprinkles!" Eduardo showed Bloo two tiny compartments inside the cylinder that were respectively filled with chocolate dipping and rainbow sprinkles. "The magic sprinkles? They make you _happy_."

"I think I'd be happier eating '_It_' than crunching on sticks dipped in mud and colored mucus clots."

"Hey Eduardo, hey Bl - ooh!" Sneakers squeaked to a stop beside them. "Sorry, but could I have a chocolate stick?"

"Not you, too," Bloo said.

"Don't take all the sprinkles," grumbled Eduardo, but held the cylinder up for Wilt.

"They're tasty, what can I say?" Wilt grinned as he bit off the end of the stick and chewed happily. "'sides, these treats are hard to find. Y'know, coming all the way from Japan and stuff? We rarely get to eat these."

"Whatever." Bloo stalked off. "I'm gonna find more _manly_ things to eat. You two have fun with your girly bis - "

"Are those chocolate sticks?!" Mac had just arrived in the doorway and was quick to dump his knapsack aside.

Bloo did an abrupt about-turn and grinned. "Great timing, Mac! Now, if you're my best friend, act like you would if you were my best friend, and tell those two little girls there that they need to grow up and - "

"Can I take one, Ed?" Mac asked excitedly.

"_WHAT?!_"

"Don't take all the sprinkles!"

"MAC, NO!" Bloo rushed across the room and slapped his friend's hand away from the cylinder of biscuits. "Don't eat those!"

"Why not?"

"Because they're _girly_ biscuits," Bloo argued. "You take one bite of them, the next thing you know, you start wearing skirts, you put bows in your hair, and your voice - gets - _higher!_" Bloo's voice rose to a near imperceptible pitch. "And everything you own turns _PINK!_"

"Bloo," Mac took a stick and dipped it into the chocolate, "it's a biscuit."

"A _GIRLY_ biscuit," Bloo corrected him.

"Co co co co COCO coco?" Coco shot Bloo a half-lidded glance as she hopped right up to Eduardo and fished a stick out of the cylinder.

"No, no, you can eat that, you're fine, you're not a guy."

But the little noises of appreciation, the happy sounds of tan biscuits being ground to crumbs between teeth; watching the sticks submerging themselves into thick, deliciously rich chocolate, and the sprinkles - white and pink and green and yellow and baby blue - everyone was laughing and having fun and enjoying themselves...

...everybody except Bloo.

Bloo allowed himself one small, short scream of frustration before he hit everyone except Eduardo out of the way. Then he stuck his hand out and waited.

Eduardo blinked.

"Ahem. I want a biscuit," Bloo announced.

Eduardo folded his arms. "Say the magic word."

"What? No way, that's dumb - "

"Oh, okay, I just eat the last biscuit then - "

"Fine, FINE! Open Sesame!"

Eduardo blinked again.

"...Alakazam!"

Blink, blink.

"...Avada Kedavra!"

The sound of Mac's hand hitting his forehead echoed around the room.

"It's 'PLEASE'!" Mac hissed after Bloo's twenty-third failure to pronounce the correct word, "'please'! Didn't you ever learn any manners?"

"Well, whose fault is that?" Bloo glared back at the purple monster, thrust his hand out again, and gritted, "Please."

"Please what?" Eduardo singsonged.

"Please. Give. Please. Me. Please. A. Please. Girly. Please. Biscuit. Please," Bloo ground out.

Eduardo reluctantly handed him the cylinder. Bloo snatched it away with a delighted yell, and took five seconds to blow a triumphant raspberry at everyone else in the room. Then, a huge, ear-splitting grin plastered across his face, he stuck his hand into the cylinder.

And pulled out nothing.

Blink, blink blink.

Bloo stuck his hand in again. Dug around inside for good measure. Then turned the entire thing upside-down, looked inside it, shook it hard. A few stray sprinkles fell out and bounced away across the floor, but there were no tan biscuits nor chocolate dipping left.

"Um. ...sorry. I guess we must have... finished the whole thing?" Wilt was looking pointedly at the ceiling. Then he perked up. "Hey! Who wants to go play 'All Washed Up' at the arcade?"

And with that everybody trooped out of the room, leaving Bloo alone with nothing but an empty room and an even emptier package of not-there-anymore chocolate sticks.

"...at least _my_ maleness is saved," Bloo muttered acidly as he tossed the cylinder aside to sulk after his friends.

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**AN: **_The 'chocolate dip biscuits' mentioned in this fanfic are based off the 'Yan Yan' confectionery biscuits made by Meiji. Do a Google search on this if you're not sure. :)_


End file.
